Saturday, October 22, 2011

Oi! Brazil Calling

I’m back in the continent of my birth. It has been a long time since my last post. I guess I’ve been living my life to the fullest each day...instead writing about it. I’m the type of person that worries a lot about life...I usually spend my day reflecting and in thought about everything I do...everyone I meet. But lately, I’ve just been living...doing...not thinking...not worrying but just in the moment. My shrink used to say that if you spend all your time worrying about the future...you are not living in the present. He is right. Although I can’t help but worry that something bad is happening....I am never this happy...life is never this good (not for me)...so the pendulum will swing one day....maybe I’ll get cancer..or my plane will crash but until then..fuck it. I’m gonna enjoy it...and probably write a bit less than usual.

So much has happened since my last post. I sit here on a cafe at Avenida Paulista...pondering life. Avenida Paulista is the Avenue of the world....it is where all the beautiful people in Sao Paulo come out to see and be seen. Brazilians are just HOT! You can feel the sensuality in the air....I like the bustle and hustle of the city.

But the truth is that I left my heart in Cape Town. I had an affair to remember. Ten wonderful days with a wonderful man. I have not had those feelings since two years ago..when I was with my ex partner. I like Sven. I have not told him that....after all I was leaving...but I do. He is sexy. He makes me laugh and we have wonderful chats. He’s a great kisser...cuddler. We went for walks on the beach..great coffee chats...wine..romance...all with the background of Cape Town, the most beautiful city. We enjoyed every moment.

“I do not want to have my heart broken,” he told me. I think we both hesitated about jumping in...he lives in Cape Town...I live in Australia. But we both knew there was a connection. What will be..will be...so I’m here and he’s there.

I started this journey because I was looking for something....trying to find myself. Maybe what I was looking for was Sven. Maybe things will not work out..but I found that I could fall in love with someone. I let someone else into my heart. It is healed. Mission accomplished.

I’m flying to Colombia on Monday. I am going to spend a month with my father. My brother has moved to Colombia earlier in the year. My father’s health has been getting worst - and I need to spend time with him. I’m not sure how long he’ll be around for...and I have this feeling that it will not be long. I like to think I live my life without any regrets but I probably regret not working on my relationship with my father. I have a great relationship with my mother but with my father - there have always been issues.

I am seeing Sven in December - another 15 days to figure out if what we have is for real...I need to make a decision about where I’ll be based from 2012. That’s when I’ll start worrying again.

2 comments:

  1. Good to hear that you're visiting your Dad. I hope your relationship with him turns better.

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  2. Enjoy Brazil - its one of my favorite places to vacation.

    ReplyDelete