Saturday, June 11, 2011


When I was in primary school, the nuns used to tell me that gay people could not go to Heaven. Last night, they were proved wrong. I went to heaven. It was full fabulous of  gay and lesbian people. Heaven is a famous gay club in London.

My friend and brother from another mother wanted to show me the London scene. I am normally not a fan of clubbing but when in could I pass an invitation to Heaven?

Off we went on a rainy Friday night. We started off with drinks at GAY in Soho. The thing with gay clubs and bars is that they all look pretty much the same - same types of men, music (Gaga, Britney) and same vibe. There was less muscle in London (compared to Sydney) but similar attitude. It was all very cruisy.

I guess for many gay men...that type of environment is heaven. There is sex and alcohol on tap and clubs are very much places to hook up. The music is so loud no one can have a real conversation and the dance floor is so packed, you have to grind with the person next to you (the old fashioned GRINDR).

Jim wanted me to get a London pash. He’s so sweet. I mean who else but your gay friends are willing to take you out in the most miserable cold and rainy days. The truth is that Jim is a big clubber and he wanted to go dancing. He’d been to Heaven many times before (he’s a good Christian boy after all).

I’m usually pretty bad at picking guys up at clubs. Normally, I tend to attract freaks and the guys who hang around them. Tonight was no exception. I was being harassed by a creepy Elton John look alike...he was following me and actually touched my neck. Creepy.....I also got approached by two older short gay guys asking me if I wanted to join them for a threesome. Freaks, dorks and couples - my total target market.  Heaven was starting to feel a lot like earth for me.

Gay clubs often depress the hell out of me. I wonder if this is the gay life that awaits me for the next forty years...looking for the next one night stand...worrying about my looks...body and skin...trying to remain attractive. It may be heaven for some but hell for me. I want to develop and grow...find love and a partner and settle down. At Heaven, everyone was looking for Mr

So at around 3 am, this cute guy checked me out. I moved closer to him and introduce myself. His name (I can’t recall) but he’s a Turkish doctor. Let’s call him the Turk. He’s cute...nice face..very masculine body...big watch. He’s ticking all my boxes...and being a doctor my grandmother would be proud. I tell him I’m off to Istanbul next week, talk about his work (Gynecologist!)....I ask him to teach me some Turkish...”What is the word for cute?”

He has this looks like a drug induced smile. But he’s cute. We grind a bit closer and start making out. He’s a great kisser....the passionate kind. I think I am going to like Turkey...ding dong...we make out in the dance floor...the “get a room” kind of making out. He’s so good...very hot.

We a bit more. More kissing....I think I’m going to stop dating white guys. I think I need a Turk or a middle eastern or Italian guy. These boys can feel the passion. I ask him if he’s on drugs...cause that smile is starting to freak me out. He’s a doctor ..on holidays..maybe he’s prescribed himself some happy pills. Maybe I want some. He just smiles.

Ok. Freaky drug guy. He walks away. I go and find Jim. He’s happy. He got a pic of us making out. I realise it is 4 am. I’ve never been up this late...not since I was at Uni. “You’re a student now. This is what students do,” Jim reminds me. He’s right. I have not done all night clubbing since college days in Boston.

We left the club to face the rain and cold...not hell but just earth. I wondered if the chances of me going to heaven were greater than finding love? I wondered if hell was just the gay version of Heaven?


  1. Sounds like you had a little slice of heaven.

  2. :) I get depressed by the club scene too