Monday, June 13, 2011

Ex-tasy

I met my ex for lunch yesterday. He lives in London now. I originally met him two weeks after I moved to Sydney. He was my first boyfriend and my first love. I broke up with him because as a newly out gay man, I wanted to play the field and experience things...he wanted to settle down and buy a house.

I often wonder if I made the right choice. That’s the thing about choices. You can never go back to see what would have happened if you had chosen the opposite option. Would I be any happier? Would I own property in Sydney...worth a lot? I probably would not be on this experience.

My ex is single...still looking for that long term love. He’s a sweet guy and it was fun catching up on old times - trips, people and family. Exes know you better than anyone else and you can reconnect with them almost immediately...even if you have not seen them in a long while.

I wondered if I was still attracted to him? I guess I still am...he was looking cute. For me, if I have loved someone..I never stop loving them. If it is real love. It is the romantic in me. I can’t switch off emotions like a light switch. I’m not British after all. But those feelings are always there.

Normally I am not friends with my ex. I can’t. It is too hard. But this guy and I had dated like 10 years ago. So there was plenty of time to get over any unresolved feelings and emotions...breakups are never easy...or clean. There’s always a mess. You say things you regret and hurt people you love.

London is a place where you could never bump into your ex - a huge metropolis of over 8 million people and spread out over a large distance. You could spend your whole life in just one area of the city. Even the gay scene is spread around different suburbs - unlike Sydney.

3 comments:

  1. Woo~hoo!

    Who knows you guys are meant to be together. Damn, I'm a sucker for fairy tales.

    Let us know if you guys can possibly be together again.

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  2. You were once a damn bad boy! Lol. I came out late but I've already been sick of the games. I recently developed post-pash depress syndrome, I'm f**king sad.

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  3. Ours is the century of enforced travel. . . of disappearances. The century of people helplessly seeing others, who were close to them, disappear over the horizon. Cheap flights to Sao Paulo

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